Ask Ainsley, Student Life

Ask Ainsley: “How do I talk about condoms with my partner?”

Dear Ainsley,

I am bad at negotiating condom use and will often not mention it if the other person doesn’t. What are some tactics to bring this up when my partner doesn’t want to?


How to Wrap it Up?

Dear HTWU,

I always used to pride myself on my ability to have open conversations about sex. That said, a little while ago I realized that I was having the exact same problem you’re having, and was letting myself get pressured into having sex without a condom. Part of the problem a lot of university students have is that we’re relatively sheltered and don’t believe that anyone we like or have slept with could possibly be carrying any kind of STI. The possibility of getting pregnant seems even more out of reach. However, as many as one in four university students has or has had an STI at some point. So, the risk of contracting one is very, very real.

I would recommend always carrying a condom or having them in your bedroom. One of the great things about McGill is that free condoms are never too far out of reach. You can find them in places like residence halls, the Health Centre, the Arts Undergraduate Society’s SNAX cafe, and a plethora of other student centres across campus. You never know when you may end up having sex, and I personally always carry a couple out with me in case one of my friends ‘gets lucky.’ If your partner is complaining that they don’t want to wear it, you may have to give them an ultimatum: No glove, no love. If they’re worth your time, they won’t pressure you into it. In the long run, you don’t want to be with anyone who puts their pleasure over your wellbeing anyway.


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