In case you were too busy waiting in line for beer at OAP to notice that a new semester has started, here’s what you missed this past week in the world of sports …
Major League Baseball – In only his third start of the season, Giants’ starting pitcher Yusmeiro Petit went 26 outs without surrendering a baserunner. Sporting a Bond villain moustache and cackling maniacally as he stepped up to bat, pinch-hitter Eric Chavez finally looped a single off of Petit with the count full and two outs in the ninth inning to ruin the 28-year-old right-hander’s dream performance. Chavez, now San Francisco’s public enemy No. 1, seemed to be channeling some deep resentment, since his long-time ball-club, the Oakland Athletics, are suddenly relevant after his departure. Petit will now have to salvage a career that has otherwise been reminiscent of watching paint dry. It also cannot be confirmed whether Petit’s Wikipedia page existed prior to his near-perfect outing.
NCAA Football – Powerhouse programs USC, Texas, Florida, and Notre Dame all lost on the same weekend for the first time in over 35 years. Coincidentally, the quartet represent four of the most hated football teams in the United States. For USC and Texas, the losses against lowly Washington State and BYU, respectively, will certainly renew calls for both head coaches to be fired. Florida’s loss represents the second straight week in which a Top 15 Southeastern Conference (SEC) lost to a program in the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC). Riots are sure to break out across the football-crazed South if a non–SEC team becomes the team of destiny and hoists the BCS National Championship. Lastly, Notre Dame fans are wishing that the calamitous past eight months would disappear, much like Manti Teo’s girlfriend.
U.S. Open – This weekend played host to an outstanding weekend of men’s and women’s single tennis. Highlight games included the men’s semi-final, on Saturday which pitted ninth-seed Stanislas Wawrinka against the world’s No. 1 seed, Novak Djokovic. The surprise Wawrinka, who defeated UK deity Andy Murray, pushed Djokovic all the way before finally conceding the match to him after three gruelling hours. Rafael Nadal had less trouble against Richard Gasquet despite a surprise second-set effort by Rafa’s seasonal training fodder. Women’s tennis witnessed Serena Williams attempt to become the oldest woman to win the U.S. Open. The mainstream tennis media had a field day discussing Victoria Azarenka’s record as the only woman to beat Williams in her last 17 WTA finals. Alas, the media could not protect against Williams’ old-school game as she won her 17th Grand Slam title.
NASCAR – The lively, diverse, and international NASCAR community…the NASCAR community…ahem, a collection of rich corporate Home Depot and Gilette clients, witnessed a disastrous and controversial Saturday night at the Richmond International Raceway. Ryan Newman lost out to the 12th and last berth to Martin Truex Jr. after his teammate, Clint Bowyer, spun out with seven laps left while Newman was leading. Speculation erupted as to whether Bowyer intentionally sabotaged Newman’s chances at the last spot, given that Newman and Truex finished with a tiebreaker at the end of the regular season. Gentleman Newman took the high road, blaming his pit crew for the loss, despite the back-room high fives that were sure to have happened in the Truex mansion over new Shick razors. Oh, and Carl Edwards won the race.