Joke, Laughing Matters

Montreal Curling Club announces new sponsorship deal with Swiffer™

On March 25, Canada’s most decorated curling club, The Montreal Curling Club, announced their new sponsorship deal with the iconic household brand Swiffer™. Club President Joey Moore and Swiffer™ CFO Howard Tallman signed a five-year contract worth $1,000 at the club’s office in Côte-des-Neiges.

“We here at Swiffer™ are just so proud to support a long-standing tradition of excellence in Canadian curling at the Montreal Curling Club,” Swiffer™ marketing representative Cindy Schmidt said at a press conference that only reporters from CBC Radio 4 attended. “We hope we can provide the tools necessary for the athletes here at the Montreal Curling Club to reach their highest potential.”

Moore echoed Schmidt’s enthusiasm.

“This is huge for us here at Montreal Curling Club,” Moore said. “We’ve never had a sponsor who has been so dedicated to providing us with quality equipment so that we can be the best athletes possible. ”

The Canadian National Curling Championships are scheduled for Feb. 23 and 24, 2020 in Flin Flon, Manitoba. The Montreal Curling Club will be looking for a podium sweep in all events.

Several veterans will return to the sheet this year for the Montreal Curling Club at the national championships. Most notably, Michael Spiel, who looks like he definitely spends his summers fishing in Muskoka, is slated to compete. Spiel is a celebrated skip for Team Canada at the past three Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver, Sochi, and Pyeongchang.

“I’ve been in the game a long time, you know,” Spiel said in an interview with the Waterloo Reporter. “This will probably be my last national championships, so I just really want to go out with a bang. I just want to make my wife, Karen, and my kids, Davey and Georgie, proud.”

According to a report released by Swiffer™ corporate headquarters this week, the brand estimates no boost in sales from this partnership. Tallman is simply a huge curling fan, and it has been a lifelong dream of his to meet an Olympic curling champion like Spiel.

“I’m honestly freaking out a little right now,” Tallman said afterwards at  press conference.“This was major, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m just worried that I was so starstruck when I met him that I looked kind of dumb.”

With the partnership, the Montreal Curling Club hopes to reignite a culture for curling in Canada. The esteemed Canadian curling program has yet to recover from international humiliation at the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics: A loss at the hands of the American team in the men’s curling event.

“We have an opportunity here to keep getting better so that, with the help of Swiffer™, we can become the best athletes in North America and crush the souls of the Americans at the next world championships,” Spiel said. “I just can’t wait to be really gracious in victory.”

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