Joke

Joke Issue: Prof upset over no chili pepper on RateMyProfs

McGill professor Jean Smith is questioning the legitimacy of the popular website RateMyProfessors.com after discovering that he doesn’t have a chili pepper rating on the website, which indicates percieved “hotness.”

“I do my best to come to class everyday in my finest sweater vest,” he said. “Even in the middle of winter I was routinely underdressing to try and look hot for my students.”

Smith teaches Introduction to Theoretical Fundamentals of Philosophical Stuff, PHIL 455, and has been a full professor at McGill for five years. He says that he spends at least as much effort on looking good each day as he does on preparing for the lectures themselves.

“You have these stoners walking in to class everyday in baggy jeans, a T-shirt full of holes, and hair that hasn’t been washed since MUNACA went on strike, and they’re telling me that I’m the one who looks bad?” he said.

Smith, an admirer of Rick Santorum’s style, owns 54 sweater vests, and has not once worn jeans to class.

One of Smith’s students, who wished to remain anonymous, commented on Smith’s appearance.

“Look, the chili pepper is really reserved for hot-no, smoking hot profs,” she said. “You have to be careful when you’re giving out the chili pepper, because it can really go to a prof’s head.”

The student pointed to the case of Professor Leud Kauntakt, a Russian-born history professor who obtained chili pepper status after her first semester at McGill.

“She showed up at McGill looking …  hot, I’ll say it,” the student said. “But once she got that chilli pepper, she started wearing sweatpants to class. She looked worse than a hungover New Rez kid.”

The student said Smith simply didn’t earn the chili pepper rating, in her mind.

“I see the chili pepper and I ask myself, would I pick him up at Korova?” she said. “I admire Smith’s intellect, but those sweater vests have to go.”

Smith said he hopes to revamp his look and try again next year.

“Maybe I’ll get some of those hipster glasses without the lenses and a new haircut,” he said. “I think some skinny jeans could really pull everything together. Or a scarf. Yeah, that’d be hot.”

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