Joke

GUIDE: Where to go for sex in this city

Name: Dan SavageColumn Name: “Savage Love”Publication: Montreal’s Hour magazine, Toronto’s Now magazine, Ottawa’s XPress and numerous other publications across Canada and the United States .Known for: Hosting a campaign to name a gay sexual act after an American senator that held homophobic beliefs. (Santorum: “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex”)Best Advice: To always follow the abbreviation GGG — being “good, giving and game” to every sexual partner.Self-Described: “I’m like Dr. Phil, but a cocksucker.”Raunchiest Topic Covered: Male farting as a sexual turn-on.

Name: Sasha (sometimes with the attached name: Von BonBon)Column Name: “Love Bites”Publication: Montreal’s The Mirror, Toronto’s Eye WeeklyBackground: A 35 year-old former stripper and the current front woman of a Toronto-based burlesque troupe called “The Scandelles”.Known for: her bitchiness, bluntness and accessibility.Best Advice: “While you’re having sex with her, ask her what she finds attractive about men… I call that killing two birds with one bone.”Raunchiest Topic Covered: Women who drink cum in cups.

Name: Josey VogelsColumn Name: “My Messy Bedroom” and “Dating Girl”.Publication: Montreal’s Hour magazine, The Montreal Gazette and many other Canadian newspapers and magazines.Known for: Being Canada’s leading lady on sex and dating advice.Best Advice: “If you’re running into the battlefield, you want to have the right equipment.”Self-described: Just a regular girl, writing about sex in a “thoughtful rather than gratuitous” manner.Raunchiest Topic Covered: Canine sex.

Name: Eve ThomasColumn Name: “SexTalk”Publication: Montreal Nightlife magazineKnown for: Sex advice from a 20-something point of view. Like Dr. Ruth without the training, wrinkles or authority to talk to school children about erections.Stands out as: One of the few sex columnists who rarely writes about her own exploits (though friends are open game). She also loves horrible puns (‘How about some T&A with the the TA.?’) and coining her own terms (‘seasonal singleton syndrome’).Self-described: “The newest and the cutest of the bunch!”Best Advice: On sleeping with a teacher-“If you have a shred of doubt, try to wait ’til school is out.”Raunchiest topic covered: Dwarves. Enough said.

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