FEATURE: The anti-frosh guide

Don’t get me wrong- I love Frosh. What better way to start off the new academic year than to get magnificently intoxicated on lower field with thousands of your closest drinking buddies? Frosh is more than just a spectacle of drunken bliss; the organized drinking orgy certainly contains its moments of glory: sampling of a first years’ first beer (mmm.

FEATURE: Frosh-damentals

ow. Ow. OW! Who replaced the florescent lights with pointy, pointy knives? These are the thoughts running through poor little Gordon-the-Freshman’s head the morning after his first night of Frosh week. If Gordon´s waking thoughts are any indication, he is well on his way to achieving Frosh-Success.

FEATURE: Cheap meat

This is for all the U1 students out there who are finally discovering the joys of having their own apartments. Although you might miss the glory days of Rez, you will soon realize the far superior nature of living off campus. One of the hardest things to adjust to is cooking your own food.

FEATURE: Deadbolts and deadbeats

It’s a common misconception that burglaries in this city occur exclusively at nighttime, when the windows are shut tight, the doors are barred and security systems are active. In fact, recently, home invasions in Montreal during the daytime hours have become less of an anomaly, especially in the suburbs.

FEATURE: Ferris Bueller did it, why can’t we?

Most students wouldn’t mind taking a day off from school, à la Ferris Bueller, but beating the system in university requires more complex tactics than those used by the quintissential high school slacker. For some undergraduates, a medical note is academic paydirt; a device through which they score extensions on – or even exemptions from – completing assignments, exams and other academic responsibilities.