FRESH HELL: Losing your student ID

Being a student sucks sometimes. Crazy stress, daily intellectual calisthenics, and intense sleep deprivation are all part of the day-to-day routine. By now, you’re probably used to the stress – you may even enjoy it on some level. Still, many of you, like me, have likely been wishing for a lighter course load since you started learning fractions, or at least for a break from homework that didn’t coincide with getting a summer job.

FRESH HELL: Know thyself: How hot are you really?

I don’t know what sparked celebrity doppelgänger week on Facebook, but I loved it. I had to keep enlarging people’s pictures to make sure they hadn’t suddenly gotten a lot more attractive. It’s hilarious that everyone’s idea of a doppelgänger is someone who has the same complexion, but is a few points more attractive on a 10-point scale.

FRESH HELL: The over-hyped Olympics

The Winter Olympics are pointless. They feature sports that are generally boring to watch or better showcased in other competitions (at the X Games, for example). They cost a lot of money, create headaches for people living in host cities, and don’t attract enough tourist dollars to offset the large taxpayer expense.

FRESH HELL: I never knew’d

Although I’ve played team sports since I was old enough to don a pinny, I’m usually quite awkward in locker rooms. Part of it has to do with my upbringing. My family was never a particularly naked one – we didn’t do a lot of topless sunbathing in the backyard or play nude family Monopoly – so nakedness has always startled me.

FRESH HELL: I still hate the situation

I love Jersey Shore as much as the next well-educated Midwesterner – and with as much guilt. I also get a thrill seeing people get thinner on The Biggest Loser, and cackle with delight at every shot of Mary Murphy’s super-Botoxed facehole on So You Think You Can Dance.

FRESH HELL: Die “Hipster” die

Dear Diary, Over the winter break, I was called a hipster for wearing a high-waisted skirt and glasses and then found out that Joey Jeremiah only asked me out as a joke and I totally fell for it. I was so embarrassed!! I just wanted to DIE. My life is so sucky.

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