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Joke Issue

Joke Issue

Parkour MiniCourse coming soon to McTavish

In an attempt to capitalize on the ongoing construction on McTavish, the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) is rolling out a brand new MiniCourse: Campus Parkour. The course promises to be an exciting opportunity for both thrill-seekers and students just trying to get to class on time.  The course has been in development since… Keep Reading

Joke Issue

U3 Engineering student posts Facebook status about distrust in new SSMU executive, citing ‘predominantly female executive’

U3 Engineering student Jack Martin recently posted a status on Facebook expressing his distrust in the newly elected Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) executive team for the 2017-18 school year.  “I don’t usually post things like this on Facebook, but recent events have alarmed me to a place that I feel like I need… Keep Reading

Joke Issue

McGill releases ‘Fill-in-the-blank’ statement to be used for next McGill scandal

On March 27, the McGill administration released a partly-blank statement for students to use when condemning of any future scandals. An explanation accompanying the statement clarifies that after the series of recent scandals involving McGill and the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU), the administration has decided to no longer release individual statements. Now, if… Keep Reading

Joke Issue

Montreal hipster ‘heard of it first’

In the Mile-End neighbourhood of Montreal, tote bags too-small-to-carry-anything-in are catching on. But local hipster James Bax assures that he totally heard of it first.  “Everyone started using these tote bags all of a sudden,” Bax said. “But I started it. I mean, I’ve used aesthetically-pleasing but nonfunctional things for years. Like those glasses with… Keep Reading

Joke Issue

Marty the Martlet elected SSMU president

McGill mascot Marty the Martlet was announced as winner of the presidential contest for the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) for the 2017-18 school year. The gigantic bird fought a hard campaign against Jane Darnold, ultimately finding success with his “Just Wing It,” platform. Upon hearing the news, Darnold was upset. “He can’t even speak!… Keep Reading

leacock building
Joke Issue

Principal Fournier purchases fleets of car to aid walk from Leacock to McIntyre

After a disappointing meeting with members of Divest McGill, McGill University Principal Josie-Anne Fournier announced plans to address a growing student complaint: The hike from Leacock Building to the McIntyre Medical Building. “We will be purchasing 20 fleets of Cadillac Escalades to transport students to and from Leacock and McIntyre for free," Fournier said. “These vehicles will help students… Keep Reading

Joke Issue

April Fools Issue 2016

The McGill Tribune presents its articles for its annual April Fools' Joke issue:  Stories SSMU turns to flip cup to decide result of “divisive” and “external” motions​ McGill to divest from colour red Student crashes Minerva by accidently completing course evaluation Varsity LARP team wins regional championship Students discovered in suspended animation under melting snowbanks… Keep Reading

Joke Issue

SSMU turns to flip cup to decide result of “divisive” and “external” motions

In the aftermath of the failed attempt to pass a constitutional amendment creating a Steering Committee to prevent “divisive” and “external” motions from being voted on at the General Assembly (GA), The Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) Council has announced a new procedure for dealing with controversial motions. Instead of being voted on, controversial… Keep Reading

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