In case you were too busy voting for democracy over anarchy as you watched Twitch play Pokemon, here’s what you missed in the 2014 Winter Olympics…
MEN’S HOCKEY —After the gold medal game—a 3-0 dismantling of Sweden—it was clear that Mike Babcock really is better at his job than the 35 million other hockey coaches in this country. Prior to the tournament, the spotlight was on the star power that manned the forward position for Team Canada—11 of the NHL’s top 25 leading scorers were at Sochi wearing the red-and-white. However, Babcock’s plan was to squeeze the life out of opponent after opponent, as the squad also put on a defence and goaltending clinic throughout the tournament. Let’s hope that Gary Bettman lets the pros take the ice in Pyeongchang so that fans can have another shot at questioning every decision that the Hockey Canada brass make.
WOMEN’S HOCKEY—Marie-Philip Poulin played her way into the hearts of Canadians everywhere for the second time in four years, scoring two goals in the gold medal game of the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, and more recently, in the final of the Sochi Games. The 22-year-old from Boston University was instrumental in the comeback, which was heard around the world and sent daggers into the hearts of our American neighbours. The only thing more shocking than the the American squad choking harder than the Toronto Maple Leafs was the fact that Poulin wasn’t named the first star in the game. That honour was reserved for none other than the right goalpost at the Bolshoy Ice Dome.
WOMEN’S BOBSLEDDING—Canadians really do like saving their best for last. Look no further than bobsledders Heather Moyse and Kaillie Humphries, who put up three straight second-place runs before catapulting past the American squad in their fourth and final run. Moyse, a native of Summerside, Prince Edward Island, is also the brand ambassador for PEI Potatoes. Sadly Humphries, who is from Calgary, Alberta, is not the brand ambassador for Triple A Grade Canada Beef. However, this combination of meat and potatoes has managed to handle the test of time—this gold medal was the second straight for the duo, who became the first Canadian women to win bobsled gold at the Vancouver 2010 Games.
MEN’S CURLING—Russia may have the best chess players in the world, but the 2014 Winter Olympics have made it safe to say that Canada lays claim to the best on-ice chess players. Brad “The Grandmaster” Jacobs skipped the Canadian curling squad to the gold medal in Sochi. Jacobs and crew posted a 7-2 record in the round robin stage and recorded victories over China in the semifinal and Great Britain in the final to clinch Team Canada’s second consecutive gold medal in men’s curling. The team bested the Brits in every single statistical category en route to a dominant 9-3 victory.