Montreal's St. Patrick's Day parade dates back to 1824, one of the most enthusiastically attended public events in the city's history. The only problem with it, and with St. Patrick's Day in general, is that people keep asking me if I'm "going." And naturally, I'm not going. I'm not Irish. Nor are most of the people in attendance, but that doesn't seem to bother them.
It has only recently occurred to me how silly it is that people play ad hoc ethnicity-swap just to enjoy a particular holiday. Perhaps it's emblematic of the non-specificity and nebulousness of Canadian cultural identity, or perhaps a testament to the melting pot dynamic prevalent in Canadian demographics, or maybe it's simply that Montrealers look for every available opportunity to get drunk mid-day and/or mid-week.
My original intent for this column was to enumerate my hypothetical adoption of a stereotypical ethnic mask for each day of the week in a way that would result in the best possible outcome for me. The crux of the patently satirical column would rest in exemplifying how culture was trivialized by resorting to stereotype, just as Irish culture arguably has been by people wearing green face paint and singing drunken ditties while knowing nothing of being Irish or the origin of the holiday being celebrated.
Upon submission, the Tribune's senior editors felt that the column was offensive, even borderline racist, and rejected it outright. When I noticed that the only editor on staff who went to bat for me was American, I may finally have realized something about my own identity that had remained nebulous until this day, that elusive common thread which ties my people together: Canadians are all so fucking sensitive.
While we're discussing comic stereotypes, why not discuss Michael Moore's Canadian Bacon, a rare fiction from the Oscar-winning director. Set mostly in Canada, one scene involves an epically rotund John Candy barreling down a busy Toronto street, pushing brusquely past a score of Canadians, each one offering him a hearty apology.
2008 Woodie Awards
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