Joke

WebCT stupidity of the week

Neuroscience Thank you for the explanations. Unfortunately, I’m totally confused by the fundamental difference between living and non-living things. So ants, broccoli, people, and cats are all “living things” and therefore represented by sensory knowledge? However: pants, steamed broccoli, steeples, and hats are “non-living things” and therefore represented by functional […]

WebCT stupidity of the week

Computer Science Assignment submission problems “Same here. When push comes to shovel, I’ll overwrite my previous submission with a new version that includes question 3.”   Psychology Essay writing hints “11. Correctly making of the grammar will receive marks highly.”

Squirrel-watching Underreported

McGill Tribune Describing his main goals on the Students’ Society of McGill University website, President Zach Newburgh writes: “Let’s build community together by being socially-conscious, politically-aware, while vibrant in all areas of student interest.” This is a platform that I as a columnist respect and support. I find it a […]

THE HELPLESS ROMANTIC: Advice for a pope

O Pope Benny XVI! Was it some relic of your former university professorships that demanded you use full quotations when citing sources? Did you also offer footnotes or a nice handout about how Manuel II was on the verge of losing his empire to Muslims when he said Muhammad brought only evil? I read most of your speech, and I agree with you about God not being pleased by blood-it’s tough for any major religion to disagree with that and not look like some killer cult-but it’s easy to skirt the issue when they can home in on your insults towards their religion’s founder.

JOKE ISSUE: Less than mediocrity

After a year that included a few wins, the McGill football team is confident that it won’t disappoint fans next year by being mediocre. The team plans to continue their losing streak, extending it to as many as three years. Star running back Alexander Hamilton will not be returning, which will help the Redmen get a fresh start on losing.

JOKE ISSUE: Former U.S. vice president takes advantage of new healthcare system

Dick Cheney was arrested yesterday afternoon for shoplifting at Walgreen’s in the Georgetown neighborhood of Washington, D.C. Police stated that Cheney thought he could now get over-the-counter medication for free. Cheney allegedly had eaten too much pizza on Saturday night, and was experiencing some mild heartburn when he decided to go to the local pharmacy.