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Margaret Scratcher
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April Fools’ Issue 2015

The McGill Tribune presents its articles for its annual April Fools' Joke issue:  Stories   Margaret Scratcher claws her way up to SSMU presidency SSMU's global affairs votes reverberating across international borders Library Improvement Fund creates initiative to eliminate PDA Adriana Giordano selected first overall by Linguistics in Arts Draft 2015 IRC to have all… Keep Reading

Joke

April Fools Issue 2014

News Obama reacts to “Barnan-gate” The SSMOO is homeless SciTech Researchers at McBill use embryonic stem cells to successfully clone HMB Arts & Entertainment Why I’m yelling about “Timber” going down Student Living My 2048 Obsession Sports Phone call proves turning point in midterm defeat Careers after athletics McGill Sports Briefs Other stories… <3 this:… Keep Reading

President Obama reacts to “Barnan-gate”

WASHINGTON, D.C and McBill/Milton-Parc, MONTREAL QC After weeks of speculation, United States President Barack Obama made his first public comments on the campus political scandal that has divided partisans worldwide. Opining on the incident that has come to be known as “Barnan-gate,” Obama called the situation a “total gong-show.”  The incident which prompted Obama’s statement… Keep Reading

Joke

Careers after athletics

Reggie Bibeau and Cheryl Bibeau: Bibeau wonder-siblings decide to open up a fashion parlour due to their sick flow. Laurent Pro-Jour: Choosing to follow his beard rather than his heart, Pro-Jour decides to forgo his NFL career and promising medical career to lead the McGill Woodsmen to a four decade stranglehold on the Woodsmen Championship.… Keep Reading

Joke

My 2048 obsession

As I write this, it has been 1 day, 13 hours, and 24 minutes since I last played 2048. For those who have never heard of 2048, the new single-player video game first launched in Italy in March, 2014. The objective of the game—started by 19-year-old Gabriele Cirulli—is to combine numbered tiles on a grid… Keep Reading

Joke

McGill Sports Briefs – April 1

Badminton, Bro At 5’4”, Percy Shuttlecoque doesn’t exactly have the ideal build for a varsity badminton player. But what he lacks in size he makes up in finesse. With an arm like a whip, Shuttlecoque can fire the birdy anywhere on theabadminton court with ease. Along with an impressive vertical leap, Shuttlecoque attributes his dominance… Keep Reading

Joke

Phone call proves turning point in midterm defeat

5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Silence. Pens dropped in frustration. Hands wringed in pain. It was over and there were no survivors. Students slowly trudged down the steps of Leacock 132 to hand in their midterms. They emerged from the cavernous venue after their BIOL 202 midterm this past week, disheartened and frustrated. Professor XX… Keep Reading

Joke

Why I’m yelling about “Timber” going down

There’s been a ton of effort over the years towards making McBill an inclusive space, and I thought we had achieved this goal. But all of that changed the day Gerts stopped listing “Timber” on its jukebox. I don’t know how this authoritarian operation that is the Students’ Society of McBill’s Offensive Overlords (SSMOO) got… Keep Reading

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