Joke

Tre Mansdoerfer congratulates Corinne Bulger on not having to be SSMU President

On March 21, Elections SSMU announced that Tre Mansdoerfer, U2 Engineering, is the president-elect of the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) for the 2018-2019 school year. With a differential of only 69 votes between the two candidates, Mansdoerfer explained that while he remained hopeful throughout election night, he eventually […]

You think you’re better than me, kid?

The McGill Tribune is excited to introduce guest columnist Gino Adamson, A&E editor Dylan’s recently retired uncle. His interests include going to the movies, being naked longer than comfortable in gym locker rooms, large khaki pants, hanging out at the barber shop, and hitting on young waitresses. Following a particularly inflammatory […]

U3 Engineering student posts Facebook status about distrust in new SSMU executive, citing ‘predominantly female executive’

U3 Engineering student Jack Martin recently posted a status on Facebook expressing his distrust in the newly elected Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) executive team for the 2017-18 school year.  “I don’t usually post things like this on Facebook, but recent events have alarmed me to a place that […]

McGill releases ‘Fill-in-the-blank’ statement to be used for next McGill scandal

On March 27, the McGill administration released a partly-blank statement for students to use when condemning of any future scandals. An explanation accompanying the statement clarifies that after the series of recent scandals involving McGill and the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU), the administration has decided to no longer […]

Montreal hipster ‘heard of it first’

In the Mile-End neighbourhood of Montreal, tote bags too-small-to-carry-anything-in are catching on. But local hipster James Bax assures that he totally heard of it first.  “Everyone started using these tote bags all of a sudden,” Bax said. “But I started it. I mean, I’ve used aesthetically-pleasing but nonfunctional things for […]

Marty the Martlet elected SSMU president

McGill mascot Marty the Martlet was announced as winner of the presidential contest for the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) for the 2017-18 school year. The gigantic bird fought a hard campaign against Jane Darnold, ultimately finding success with his “Just Wing It,” platform. Upon hearing the news, Darnold was […]