Reality TV we’d like to see

One of the lesser known shows that debuted this month is Framework, Spike’s latest reality TV offering that pits “elite furniture craftsmen” against each other in a competition hosted by—wait for it—acclaimed hip-hop artist, Common.This might seem like an unlikely marriage on the surface, but at the end of the day, how different are rap and furniture? They both require artistic vision to create, they both—okay, maybe they’re completely different. On that note, here’s some other unlikely celebrity-reality TV pairings that we think could really work.

Marilyn Manson hosts most extreme children’s birthday parties

Marilyn Manson is best known as the satanic songbird behind Antichrist Superstar (1996) and Mechanical Animals (1996). His antics over the year have gotten him portrayed as a negative influence to children and his multiple misdemeanors suggest that he is a societal nuisance, but his bold personality and elaborate onstage get-ups would fit right in with the flashy decorations and characters involved in over-the-top birthday parties. In fact, his gaudy makeup and overall rock-star persona would likely help serve to highlight the intricacies that went in to the creation of a multi-million-dollar party for a six-year-old.

Morgan Freeman officiating a spelling bee show

This one requires very little explanation. Morgan Freeman possesses the greatest speaking voice in the history of humankind, and having the privilege of listening to him use exceedingly difficult words in a sentence makes watching a spelling bee week after week very much worthwhile. Plus, there’s a very real chance that his mere calming presence alone would be able to lift competitors to otherwise unrealistic levels of performance. It also wouldn’t hurt if he threw in inspiring quotes from his movies from time to time, like this Shawshank gem that he reads from Andy Dufresne’s letter: “Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

Sofia Vergara in a court show

Vergara rose to fame on Modern Family as the hot-headed, snappy Gloria Pritchett, and even though she doesn’t really act that way in real life, wouldn’t it be fun to put her in a situation where she has to? Either in the role of a stern, challenging judge or a driven, opportunistic lawyer, Vergara could follow in the footsteps of all the actors and actresses before her who have staged sensationalist representations of our legal system. With her fiery passion and authoritative speaking ability, she’d have the chops to make Judge Judy wish she hadn’t shown up for work.

Larry David hosting a competitive fishing show

Picture this scene in your head: A pristine lake on a calm summer day, focused fisherman casting away on the water—and Larry David testing their patience with an endless reel (get it?) of sarcastic, concentration-breaking comments. While these ‘reality’ situations might not live up to the cringe-inducing scripted moments of the somewhat realistic Curb Your Enthusiasm in terms of pure social discordance, any opportunity to watch Larry David converse with people who may have an extremely short fuse is well worth taking. That being said, you could throw most celebrities onto a fishing reality show and make it infinitely more watchable.

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